


We Are Both

by mathildia



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M, Hooked Queen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-20
Updated: 2017-03-20
Packaged: 2018-10-08 13:35:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10387809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mathildia/pseuds/mathildia
Summary: When Emma leaves them, they find each other.





	

They don’t, they don’t like each other. Not quite. She does not, fundamentally does not, like him. Makes no secret of it. Emma’s always handled that quite well. Or, she used to. It’s not simple, when your friend and your lover do not… Ah, and they do not. And if you asked him, casually, over a drink, say, why she doesn’t like him, he’d say he doesn’t know. Or maybe he’d laugh and say, “Jealous of me good looks,” and order another drink before you could ask anything else. But he does. He does know. He brought her mother back into her life. He’s never apologised for that. 

He hasn’t apologised for a lot of things. He’s known a long time that you don’t need to apologise if you have a pretty face. And he knows she knows that too.

He’s pretty sure she tried to kill him, but he doesn’t recall. Who hasn’t? It’s almost a point of pride.

And so he does not, absolutely does not hate her. She knows this. She knows he is indifferent to her. And she knows he thinks that she hates him because he brought Cora to Storybrooke, but he’s wrong. She hates him because he chose Cora over her. She remembers where he forgets. And she hates that, hates that because that humiliated her. And she doesn’t ever forgive being humiliated. (And nor did her mother.) And there are probably several conversations about Cora that they’ve never had and never will. But people who’ve been around Cora know her in an intimate way. And at least, she thinks once or twice, he’s never used that knowledge to press her buttons. As some people have, always will. 

She is not fond of the fact he is indifferent to her, almost has no opinion of her at all. She would rather, of course, that he hated her. She knows about hate. He doesn’t hate her, for example, for being the person Emma saved - and she wants him to. She wants him to hate her for that, like she hates herself for that. He gave his life for Emma and Regina knows he’d do it a hundred times. And she isn’t sure if Emma would do it for him. But he would give his life for Emma and Emma would give her life for Regina. But they don’t talk about that.

They don’t talk. It is not necessary 

And both of them know, really, that they’ve lived to long and fought too hard. Wanted too much and were given nothing. And both of them have run screaming into fights they could never win. And both of them are suicidal, are homicidal, and are less dead inside when they see her. Both of them needed a saviour, and got one because they helped make one. Tried to kill one. Hated and then loved one. They are both forged by a demon, forged by a death, seen a heart they loved held hatefully in another’s hands, made and re-made. Lost and found. Lonely and then not.

They don’t like each other. But they are like each other. And they are, both of them, now, just waiting and waiting for her. It’s been a year. 

*

Afterwards, usually, one of them cries. And there’s no shame in it, because they both know. And when they touch each other, in the dark. When he is hard where she is wet, sometimes, it’s like she’s there too.

**Author's Note:**

> https://mathildia.tumblr.com/


End file.
